I’ve been feeling a bit down and out lately. Probably it has a lot to do with this period of parenthood, when sleep is scarce and demands are plentiful. It’s left me feeling depleted and defeated, unable to gather any momentum or see the glass as half full. It feels like I’ve been in ‘survival mode’ for most of this year. Going through the motions and waiting for the time and energy to reclaim my life.
On top of that, it’s been a long dreary week. The weather’s been abysmal and we’ve been housebound with runny noses & coughs, keeping ourselves quarantined so we won’t be to blame for any other family’s long days and sleepless nights.
In an effort to shake off my ‘poor me’ attitude, I’ve decided to take note of the best bits of each day. Not only will it encourage me to look for (even create) some highlights, it will serve as a record of good things next time I start feeling that I need things to go my way – I’ll see that they already are, if I’d only bother to notice.
Mark was off work, sick today. Even though not well, it was awesome to have him home mid-week. He was a massive help with the two sick kiddies, and he always livens the place up.
I took a while to sit in the winter afternoon sun, drinking coffee, and watching James scribbling with red crayon in an old notebook. I’d used the notebook to record Ailish’s sleeping & feeding back in January. I’m relieved that our days have settled into a more predictable rhythm since then!
The four of us sat together in the kitchen, eating homemade scones & jam at lunch time. I love family mealtimes and it’s been a while since I had the motivation to bake anything yummy.
I got an unexpected tax return – woo!! No more needs said on that little gem…
Mark was home again and offered to wield the tissues so I could have a couple of hours freedom. I went to a cafe and read a novel. It was absolutely revitalising, I don’t remember the last time I went anywhere alone.
It was so cold overnight that Mark & I decided to close up our bedroom & sleep in the spare bed in Ailish’s room. She had a restless night and ended up coming into the big bed with us for a chunk of sleep. We haven’t ever co slept with her before and it was such a sweet feeling having her close and restful.
I got a solid eight hours of sleep, it was incredible! I’d normally consider just one night feed for Ailish a ‘good night’, and we’ve lately had James waking up in the night wanting to be tucked in again, too.
We got groceries in today via click-and-collect shopping, and I got a free sample of decent instant coffee, which will give me a couple of days break from the Homebrand instant.
Ailish rolled from front to back, for the first non-accidental time. We were thrilled and gave her a massive round of applause. Now when she rolls over she does a big excited clap too.
Washing dishes wouldn’t usually make it to my highlights reel, especially on a Saturday night! Mark put on some music for dancing around to and had the kids in stitches playing ‘planes’ – taking turns flying round the house with Dad and chasing each other. It was a fun, energetic way to pep up a pretty dreary day.
Mark went to the shop for toilet paper and paracetamol and came back with tarts, muffins and bread sticks. Nothing makes my day like baked goods, especially surprise ones bought by someone else – no budget guilt on me 😉
I went to bed for a little afternoon nap, since I’ve started coming down with a cold too. I love naps but usually try to snatch a quick one on the sofa these days, so a mid afternoon retreat to bed was a real luxury.
It’s been kind of nice to look on the bright side…
Now, if I hadn’t been taking note of these happy happenings throughout the week, I’d have only remembered the constant grey sky and cold wet weather, the runny noses, the toddler tantrums. It’s been kind of nice to look on the bright side…